I'm 23 and just lost my first child Emersyn. I haven't really let myself feel the way I know I should. I want to be there to help my fiance through this. But I know that I won't do either of us any favors if I don't let myself cry with her. I just can't seem to be able to allow myself to do so. Am I the only one with this kind of problem?
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Hi HoodedBarrel,
First of all apologies for the delay and our thoughts go out to you for your loss.
Everyone deals with grief in different ways so there is no right way to feel, to cry or not, to bottle up emotions or not. You have to go with what you feel is right to do or just what emotion takes over you at the time.
I get the impression you are trying to be strong for your fiance to show her strength by not showing emotion, but you could just speak to her and explain what you are feeling. It could be sadness, depressed, anxious, anger but it is just not expressed with tears.
It could be that you are not sure what you are feeling as you haven't explored this and put it in a box in your mind for now, so you have the ability to focus on your fiances feelings and some time down the line you will either deal with them or just over time feel better.
Ultimately the important thing is you talk to your partner about what they are feeling and how you are feeling so you can support each other through this
If you need any further assistance we can put you in touch with more professional guidance in the form of therapy or charities which deal with and support people going through the loss you have experienced.
Please keep in touch
Dan - MFM