Hi All,
I find it hard to open up about my feelings. A common thread I'm sure with most men. We are conditioned to be strong and avoid our emotions. Yesterday, on our eight week scan they revealed that the embryo had stopped growing after 6 weeks and that there is no heartbeat. I didn't know how to react. Denial was my first reaction. Perhaps, they got it wrong. After all, all the pregnancy symptoms were there. I watched my girlfriend face go from excitement to disappointment that day. Our dream was crushed. Getting overexcited so early on in the pregnancy probably seems foolhardy but the idea had grown on me. I couldn't help but notice all the Dads in the world with their kids and getting excited when I would get my chance. After the reveal of the miscarriage I was numb. I just wanted to sleep it off. And the next day (which is today) I feel odd. I feel nauseous, a little hazy. I'm currently sitting down at work without any care about my work. It all seems pointless. Am I heartbroken? Depressed? Or simply overreacting? I keep this all from my girlfriend as I know the pain she will be going through I could never understand. Sorry if I am rabbiting on. I just needed to vent.
Venting is essential and let it all out!
Hi PW,
Thank you for posting on the forum. Firstly, our deepest condolences go out to you and your girlfriend on your pregnancy loss.
Everyone (or almost everyone) in this forum will have been through this one way or another and I guarantee that majority felt the same way as you do right now. I know I did.
Me and my wife went through a miscarriage at 14 weeks, back during the lockdowns, and I was exactly the same as you - no desire for my work, felt lost, didn’t know what to do and as for your questions, heartbroken and depressed, most definitely, overreacting never. There is no over reaction when it comes to grief and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Try speaking with your partner, when you feel ready. I think you’ll see that she will be more understanding than you think. That is most definitely what helped me and my wife, once I opened up on how I was feeling, as I think I was starting to become distant.
You are most definitely not rabbiting on, and you are definitely in the right place if you do want to vent.
You know where we are if you need us, have a look round the site, and we can also pinpoint you to more professional help if you or your partner need it.
Chris
MFM 💚