Hi,
My partner and I suffered a miscarriage around 9 weeks. It was something that I felt could never happen to me as we already have 2 children and neither were planned so I was ignorant.
I've never spoke to my partner about this as I've always been someone to just shut off my feelings but I'm starting to really struggle.
My partner is now pregnant again and I can't believe it. It's something I'm struggling to accept. I'm just telling myself I'll only believe it when the baby arrives because I can't suffer as much as I did when we had a miscarriage earlier in the year. I've only touched her belly once and it was followed by a dream/flashback to the night we found out she had lost the baby. I don't even know how far gone she is right now. I'm essentially ignoring the pregnancy which I know isn;'t healthy and my partner is growing more concerned for me too.
Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this before? I don't know what to do. I'm scared that when my daughter arrives that I won't accept her like I did with my other children. Perhaps my feelings are more extreme at the moment as our baby was due to arrive on the 21st August, in 5 days.
Hi Lee
First of all, condolences for your loss earlier in the year. Whilst I haven’t been through the exact scenario you described, elements of it will resonate with people in this forum.
What you are feeling is completely normal if you look up the stages of grief of the loss you had.
I would expect you weren’t planning or ready for this to take place so will take you some time to come to terms with, whilst at the same time working through grieving the loss you experienced.
There is also some hesitation I suspect in letting yourself accept there could be a positive outcome of a completely normal birth.
My advice to you would be to talk to your partner as she’s likely got some similar feelings, and you can work through this together. Once you do that, I hope you will feel closer to your partner and then the new unborn baby. I hope you will be able to see an optimistic view of the possibility this pregnancy will be successful in the near future
If you need anything from us, please reach out
Dan - MFM