my wife just suffered a miscarriage. I live away from my family (they’re coming to visit in 2 weeks) and we were going to break the exciting news to them on my Dad’s birthday. Unfortunately this now won’t happen and I’m really struggling to deal with the loss. I cry in the shower, I feel anger when people do the tiniest little thing to irritate me and I don’t know how to process the emotions. I’m not unhappy in my life, everything else really is perfect, we have a son already. I want to be strong for my wife and my son, but it feels like the pain will never stop. I’m very good at dealing with emotions most of the time, but this one physically takes me breath away. I’m posting to help myself accept the situation, but I don’t know what else. I want to be alone and at the same time be with people. I’m struggling more than I thought I would.
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Hi Dom First of all, condolence from all at Miscarriage For Men to you and your wife for your loss. Thank you for posting this message. It takes bravery to be able to do this Unfortunately going through the process of grieving loss can involve emotions such as anger, sadness and frustration. There will be times where you feel you need your own space and others where you want to feel surrounded by loved ones. Some you want to take a minute to yourself and others where you want to keep busy. I would advise you listen to what you need and act upon it where possible and one thing we always suggest is telling your partner how you feel to discuss it together. Try to find an outlet for the frustration and anger that is positive. Chris and I took up running, chris also took to boxing in the gym. Others focus on other areas such as working harder at your job, building something in the garden or arranging a trip away. It’s a cliche but the pain will ease in time and once you can process what has happened to find a way through this, you can then see a way to look to the future. The memory of this loss will never disappear, but you will find a way through. If you need any assistance, I can put you in touch with some wonderful charities who can help you work through this process and offer further advice. If you need anything from us please let me know Dan - MFM