My girlfriend of 9 months had a miscarriage last Friday. She was 7 weeks along. She has been going through so much physical pain and is emotionally devastated. She's described nightmares, says she cries most of the day, and feels hopeless for the future. To see her in pain is horrible. I want to help her, and us, make it through this together. I want to be supportive, and it's proving very hard. I don't mind the challenge, though. It's just tough to see someone I love with all my heart be so broken. We weren't trying for a baby. She had an IUD, and she wasn't aware she was pregnant. Here's where I need some help; I'm not upset about losing the baby. It's terrible timing for us. We are very much in love and want to spend our lives together, but right now we don't even live together. I have a lot to do in my life before I'm on my feet again and can be a good husband to her and father to a new baby. She's dealing with severe health issues aside from the miscarriage as well. I also never really mourn death. I'm a Satanist, and don't believe in the afterlife. I do believe it's far more appropriate to celebrate the few weeks of life that our baby did get to experience as a miracle than it is to mourn it never knowing the pain and trauma of a long life. In a way, I see The baby as lucky for a brief life of bliss. I want to have a memorial service for the baby with my partner. I want to remember the life we created as something beautiful. But I'm simply NOT SAD the baby didn't make it. I know why she is, and I empathize with her feelings. She has a valid point of view. My faith helps me avoid experiencing tragedy by saying that nothing happens for any reason other than pure chance. I find this comforting, and the philosophy helped me overcome a lifetime of severe depression. I'm terrified to tell her how I feel. I'm also terrified to not tell her now, and her feel I hid my feelings from her in the future. Does she need to know? I don't have to lie and tell her I'm sad to not divulge that I don't care. Will she hate me more for feeling this way now or for keeping it from her? If anyone could ask their partners what they think and relay to me what they say, it might help me. Thank you in advance. We're looking for counseling, and I'm afraid it will come out there. I know she'd be hurt by this, but I'm afraid she'll be more hurt if she finds out later that I didn't tell her I feel this way.