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twhatcott
Mar 13, 2021
In Welcome to the Forum
My wife had a miscarriage about 3 weeks ago. She was very early in her pregnancy so we hadn't really told anyone yet except for 4 close family members. Telling family made the whole experience even more exciting and fun! It was actually happening! We were going to have a baby and were going to be parents! And then 3 or 4 days later my wife started having some heavy bleeding, which was followed by ER visits, blood work, doctor visits and the eventual news that it was indeed a miscarriage. The small circle of people that knew grieved and we all supported each other and our 4 family members helped us so much emotionally. The hardest thing for me was the taboo of it all. I felt like if I told people about the miscarriage I would somehow be inconveniencing them by getting them involved. Why do we have to wait 12 weeks to tell a larger group of people about pregnancy? Why is there a taboo around miscarriages? Why not tell all you're trusted friends and family as soon as you find out? These are all real questions I have and these thoughts are still very new and I'm trying to learn the best way to address this the next time we are pregnant. And maybe it's a reflection of the relationship I have with my family, maybe I'm not as close as I should/want to be. But I think telling trusted family and friends early would do 2 very important things 1: in the case of a miscarriage, you'd have so many more people to help and support you emotionally. 2: more people would realize how common miscarriages are and that it's a very normal thing and that if it happens to them, they know they're not alone because they've heard about other people going through the same thing and can reach out to them get support from people who have gone through the same thing. Again, these are all very new thoughts and I don't know if this is the best way and these thoughts are more specific to early pregnancy miscarriages but I feel it shouldn't have to be an uncomfortable, awkward, or hard thing for your close family and friends to hear about what you're going through with a miscarriage. We shouldn't feel like we're alone. And to anyone reading this, you are not alone, there is hope, it's never easy, but there is always hope. My wife had a miscarriage about 3 weeks ago. She was very early in her pregnancy so we hadn't really told anyone yet except for 4 close family members. Telling family made the whole experience even more exciting and fun! It was actually happening! We were going to have a baby and were going to be parents! And then 3 or 4 days later my wife started having some heavy bleeding, which was followed by ER visits, blood work, doctor visits and the eventual news that it was indeed a miscarriage. The small circle of people that knew grieved and we all supported each other and our 4 family members helped us so much emotionally. The hardest thing for me was the taboo of it all. I felt like if I told people about the miscarriage I would somehow be inconveniencing them by getting them involved. Why do we have to wait 12 weeks to tell a larger group of people about pregnancy? Why is there a taboo around miscarriages? Why not tell all you're trusted friends and family as soon as you find out? These are all real questions I have and these thoughts are still very new and I'm trying to learn the best way to address this the next time we are pregnant. And maybe it's a reflection of the relationship I have with my family, maybe I'm not as close as I should/want to be. But I think telling trusted family and friends early would do 2 very important things 1: in the case of a miscarriage, you'd have so many more people to help and support you emotionally. 2: more people would realize how common miscarriages are and that it's a very normal thing and that if it happens to them, they know they're not alone because they've heard about other people going through the same thing and can reach out to them get support from people who have gone through the same thing. Again, these are all very new thoughts and I don't know if this is the best way and these thoughts are more specific to early pregnancy miscarriages but I feel it shouldn't have to be an uncomfortable, awkward, or hard thing for your close family and friends to hear about what you're going through with a miscarriage. We shouldn't feel like we're alone. And to anyone reading this, you are not alone, there is hope, it's never easy, but there is always hope.
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