7 years and 3 weeks ago my wife and I experienced the indescribable pain that comes from a miscarriage. We had just gotten married a month beforehand and I started an incredible new job as a conductor for BNSF. What should have been the best year turned to a deep hole of depression.

That day will be forever etched into my memories, I was 3 hours away from home, in a hotel room, without a car because I got there on a freight train. It took 2 hours to get a van to the hotel to then take me the 3 hours back home. By the time I got back it was all over, my wife had been discharged from the ER and was back home.

I never really got to deal with the loss, I didn’t get to grieve with my wife and hold her hand during the most difficult time either of us have faced in our lives. If this website was available then for me I could have possibly avoided the spiral into depression, that ended up taking 2-3 years to recover from.

Thankfully, I am lucky, I have a wonderful son who will be three years old shortly but I still struggle with the pain and memories from that time.