Mar 11, 2021
In Welcome to the Forum
Thank you very much for setting up this website, I think this is a great idea and I hope more men benefit from this. I've personally struggled to talk about my experiences before which eventually caught up with me a few years ago and I had to open up to my wife about it. Our first miscarraige was now 14 years ago and the memory that is seared in my mind to this day is of my wife sitting on the hospital bed crying and asking the doctor what it was that she had done wrong to cause this. I feel her pain right now even thinking about it. This miscarraige came though before we had any children and over the next 7 years we would go on to have 3 healthy children now aged 12, 10 and 6. Going on to have children after this, was the real healer and helped us both get over this. Then 5 years ago, we found out we were having a 4th baby and even though we hadn't planned it, we were both excited again, we planned how we would change the house set up, what type of car we should get and started planning for our family of 6. Then at 13 weeks we suffered another miscarriage, and it was this one that I struggled to move on from. This time there were no other children coming along to ease the pain. I couldn't get away from this feeling that there was a gaping hole in our family. I was sure the baby we would have been a girl, I'm sure we'd have called her Heidi, I'm sure she would have been blonde like her big sister and brothers and now she was gone. I never talk about things like this, but after 2 years of not saying anything I had to open up and talk to my wife to try and relieve some of the stress I was feeling. Part of of the reason I was quite excited to see this website was that I still don't feel that this is a topic I could share and discuss with my male friends, which worries me for other males going through this. I would love to hear and support any ideas on how we improve this. I hope sharing these stories we can build a community of men that can help others.....