How to give her the support she needs...
In Welcome to the Forum
Mar 29, 2021
Hi Gary, I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this. I have immense empathy for the both of you. All we want to do as caring and loving husbands is to make our wives happy and take their pain away. I wish it was that easy. My wife’s first miscarriage was traumatizing. The only thing I was able to do was to hold her, listen, support, and do anything that she wanted. My number one goal was to make sure that she had her simple needs met, and I was able to provide. It then turned into just being there to listen. My wife and I have a saying when we want support on something from each other about something that brings grief and we ask each other, “do you want comforting or advice on a solution”. This for us is a big one because it tells me, do I need to be there just to listen, or do I need to give advice to try to take the pain away. This helped a tonne for us as instead of getting into an argument because I was giving advice or an opinion on something, when all she wanted was for me to be next to her, hold her and likely cry with her. Our wives will always remember more details than us. This was a giant change in their bodies. Don‘t be discouraged because you don’t remember dates and details, I don’t either. What I can help with is just to be there and hold her. You got this Gary, Colin