Hey Ollie - I am so sorry for you losses. I had a different long reply/rant written but something didn't quite work. Maybe it'll still show up eventually. Either way just wanted to say I relate to just about everything you said - thank you for sharing your story. You sound like you are very resilient, we've had 3 losses and I don't know how I could do another. Hang in there man, I'm rooting for you. I did find a miscarriage grief group in my area after a lot of searching and it has been really good. If you can find something like that we both found the group talk extremely helpful. - Brad