Struggling to feel happy for others
In Welcome to the Forum
Mar 11, 2021
I know what you mean. When we told our friends at around 14 weeks everybody cheered, the same night a couple in our closest circle told us that they were 4 weeks behind us. we started to plan everything together, me and the other father-to-be went windowshopping for strollers and talked about the nervosity about becoming a father. At 19 weeks we got an appointment for our first ultrasound, and we were so happy to finally hear our babygirls heartbeat. The nurse was so excited st first, but after a couple of minutes she just went quiet. She called for a doctor, who broke the news. Me and my wife, both of us extremely logical and have very good control over our feelings, just tightened up. Agreed to do the surgical removal on the spot. We didn’t tell our friends for atleast a week, we just stopped all communication. Didn’t even talk amongst us two about what happened. It was all just like falling, down a dark dark hole... Eventually er told our closest about what happened, but still... I couldn’t feel anything but misery, and even more pain when our best friends was so happy about their child. We contemplated a divorce, talked about not even trying again. But, now, a couple of months have gone by. We started beeing intimate again, started to talk about the feelings we kept bottled up inside and now we are on a good path back to some kind of happiness. In conclusion, it takes time. Alot of time. I understand you, I feel the pain aswell, and you are loved even if it’s hard to feel it.