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bentomlinson56
Jan 27, 2022
In Welcome to the Forum
Hello everyone, my name is Ben. My partner and I lost our child at 10 and a half weeks. It was hugely traumatic. My partner needed 3 blood transfusions and almost died. The grieving process happened late for me. As we all share the same responsibility of being the rock, the shoulder to cry on, etc. However, I personally found grief in so many dimensions. Grieving for her future, for my loss, or family loss. I found what helped me was to talk about her. We were certain she was a girl. We removed the formal, cruel words from it all. She had a name, Nicole; she had a future and a family. Giving her this identity made me feel secure and justified in my grief. We have decided to create something in our garden to remember her by. Something with flowing water. A type of constant. This loss was huge. Even now, my eyes are full of tears. The pain is there. Right under the surface. It gets easier. You find your groove again. You can get back to a type of routine but it's never the same. It's always there. Gents this platform is a god send. I wish it was about when I struggled so badly. I hope what helped me helps even one other person. Its so hard. Support each other. Just be present. Allow your feelings to pour out. Wishing you all the most heartfelt condolences and the best wishes for the future. Ben
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