I can’t stop seeing him, we held our son, but he didn’t make it. Her cervix just … opened. We had to deliver him and I saw him. It broke me. I’m usually extremely optimistic & sees the good in everything
But not this, this shit is completely unfair. I know life doesn’t work that way but fuck. I saw him, he was beautiful. And developing just fine. Holding him made me question everything. It made me think how people stop believing in God. Because how does “everything happen for a reason” apply to this?!
It’s frustrating, we’ve got our families behind us, an extremely supporting village behind us friends too.
I don’t like passing blame or anything but we found out that her Mom also had miscarried before, it’s definitely hereditary and can be passed down.
I have no clue where my wife’s head is everyday, I don’t wanna pry but I also don’t wanna feel “normal” while she’s spiraling in her own head.
It feels good to get these words out in here, to share these struggles. These words might touch someone.