Great idea for a site, think it is much needed.
As a brief back story, my fiance miscarried last year, a few days before our first scan date. I wasn't allowed in due to covid, but they told her that it had stopped growing at 6 weeks.
We tried again, and she suffered a chemical pregnancy a couple of months ago.
We were both heartbroken both times, and it's been a tough period of time, especially with lockdown removing elements of support from visiting family etc. To make matters worse, 2 of her work colleagues got pregnant around the same time, so they are now leaving for maternity and drudging up old feelings, not that this is their fault, it's just unfortunate timing.
I guess the point of my post is, throughout the whole thing, I shut off. I tried to keep myself busy by painting the house, DIY, diving into work. The whole time I was encouraged to talk about it, but I don't know how? The experience was awful, and the roots run deep, so it is still upsetting to talk about now. But what more can I say than that? I was upset at the time, and I still am, I wish things went differently, but there's not much more I can say on the matter than that, even though I am still being told to open up about it.
I get the feeling my fiance doesn't believe that I was massively impacted by everything, as I didn't express it in the same way that she did
Hi Bryn, Firstly, my deepest condolences go out to you and your partner. It truly is an awful thing to go through. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. You’re right, it is so hard to talk about, mainly because people don’t know what to say. Our plan with the website was to try and get people to be able to put their thoughts down in written words rather than speaking about it out loud. However, I’m determined to ‘normalise’ miscarriage and make people see that it is ok to talk about it, it’s ok to be upset and realise that it’s happens millions of times around the world daily. It won’t make it any easier, it will still be as raw and as painful, but I found writing about my experience, helped. Fully resonate with the DIY - even though I’m shocking at it! I done the same, but then I had to find something else, hence the website being built. I shared an article on another post, which I will share it. It’s an interesting read - https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-common-problems/miscarriages-coping-couple Chris.
Hey man, thanks for the post. I'm new here and I, too, think this is a great idea for a website. My wife recently miscarried and a few months after her mother passed to boot. It has been extremely difficult and we have a 18 month old boy, who needs our 100%. I can relate to diving into DIY projects around the house, and I also feel that is how I am "dealing" or "coping" with the loss that I feel. I also feel that I need to be there and be strong for her, but I am grieving myself and am not quite sure what to do with these feelings. So, I stay busy.