As a brief back story, my fiance miscarried last year, a few days before our first scan date. I wasn't allowed in due to covid, but they told her that it had stopped growing at 6 weeks.
We tried again, and she suffered a chemical pregnancy a couple of months ago.
We were both heartbroken both times, and it's been a tough period of time, especially with lockdown removing elements of support from visiting family etc. To make matters worse, 2 of her work colleagues got pregnant around the same time, so they are now leaving for maternity and drudging up old feelings, not that this is their fault, it's just unfortunate timing.
I guess the point of my post is, throughout the whole thing, I shut off. I tried to keep myself busy by painting the house, DIY, diving into work. The whole time I was encouraged to talk about it, but I don't know how? The experience was awful, and the roots run deep, so it is still upsetting to talk about now. But what more can I say than that? I was upset at the time, and I still am, I wish things went differently, but there's not much more I can say on the matter than that, even though I am still being told to open up about it.
I get the feeling my fiance doesn't believe that I was massively impacted by everything, as I didn't express it in the same way that she did