Myself and my partner found out we were pregnant and expecting our first child. We found out very early we were about 2/3 weeks pregnant a few weeks after this we suffered a miscarriage, my partner and I were devastated we went from total elation to this horrible feeling. My partner seems to be coping better now with the loss but I am struggling. Growing up I was told not to show weakness and not to show my emotions as I was meant to be a man and because of my job I am meant to be this tough man. However this is not the case I don't know how to deal with this loss I am finding myself getting angry at people who are sharing news that they are expecting and I am lashing out at my partner ( just trying to argue with her over nothing because I have all these built up emotions). I don't know where to turn to or what to do .
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Hello Jordan.burns_28,
My wife and I just recently had a miscarriage too. We actually found out the day after Christmas, and the very same night she started bleeding and we went to the emergency room. Where the doctor said it looked like she was having a miscarriage. A week later another doctor confirmed that there was no heartbeat after 7 weeks. And soon after she had the miscarriage. It was very difficult. I went from being very happy to very sad in a very short period of time. And I am still feeling pretty bad. So I am with you brother. And I hope you will feel better, and that we will get through this ok. Elias
I’m really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. its so tough as a man to speak about your emotions because as kids we told ‘boys don’t cry, be a man.’ As a result we suppress our negative / sad emotions. I also agree that in certain jobs we have to be physically and mentally strong - police/ military/ fire service, etc.
I totally get that you are lashing out when you see other people posting about their good news- it’s a sign of your sadness. If you have a friend you can talk to and trust, I’d go down that route. If not, your company/ employer may have an employee assistance scheme or counselling service. Otherwise you could talk to your doctor/ GP/ family doc.