Hey all - I've been reading all the stories in here and I feel like I need to share mine because I really appreciate everyone who has posted, it's really helpful to read what others have been through and see how similar our experiences are.
We have experienced 3 losses in a fairly short time frame. 2 just pre-covid, 1 during. Even before covid I was not allowed in the room for the first ultrasound. I was sitting in the waiting room so excited, completely oblivious to how fucked up it could get. I will never forget seeing my wife's face when she walked out, and I never even got to see our first on the screen or even have an ultrasound photo.
My family is Christian (I am not anymore, not for a long time), and they are not super helpful. My aunt posted some anti abortion propaganda on Facebook the other day which implied that 'god cares about all babies in the womb' - yeah right. In my estimation god cares for approximately 80% of babies in the womb, 20% die there. 100% of ours have.
I apologize if that is a bit crude, but the entire experience is. Nobody prepares you for the physical aspect of it, the complete helplessness of watching your partner go through something horrible and know there is nothing you can do. I sliced my finger open with an exacto knife the other week and I almost fainted from the blood. I have never had a problem with seeing blood until after what we've been through.
Anyways I'll keep it short but of course I could go on and on. Thanks to anyone who reads this and I hope this forum continues to be a good place to share and talk about our experiences.
Chris - I see you had asked about interest in a zoom meeting and I would attend if you end up scheduling something! Thanks for the work you do on this page and let me know if there's something I can do to help. I would love to support the community in any way I can.
Hi Brad, Firstly, my deepest condolences go out to you and your wife on your pregnancy losses. It’s always an awful time going through a miscarriage and going through it in a pandemic is even worse. As soon as you see those 2 blue lines on the pregnancy kit, the excitement kicks in, then to have that cruelly ripped away from you, is something that I’ll never get my head around. That’s why I am now working with different medically groups, who are conducting research into why miscarriages happen. We may never get the answers but we have to do something, right? I completely resonate with your ultrasound story, that was the same for me, and seeing my wife’s face as she came back to the car is something that I will never forget. You’re 100% right in that nothing can prepare you for this. I created this page (and our Instagram / Twitter page) so that guys would have a place they could log on to, and just have a chat. It didn’t even have to be about the agony of miscarriage, I just wanted guys to know that they had somewhere they could come, and know that they weren’t alone. Not all guys will be affected by miscarriage, some will choose to bottle their feelings up, others will think that it hasn’t affected them at all. I wasn’t one of those. It did affect me. Thank you for sharing your story Brad, I will keep you posted on the zoom call. We are looking at early June for the 1st instalment if Zoom calls and I will put a notice in here and the Blog. You know where I am if you ever need a chat. Chris.