good evening everyone,
me and the partner have gone through a miscarriage this last weekend through til Tuesday. I cannot state or underplay how much pain she went through Physically. It was pure hell. obviously felt like the usual spare part - putting all of my feelings to one side to have my full attention on her and making her feel as comfortable as possible. It is now a few days after the ‘passing’ and have barely spoke to each other, i’ve tried to be there and do everything for her to make her have some hope in life but she is a completely defeated woman. I’ve tried and tried to get her to talk about what she’s feeling and she just says “the usual” and can barely look me in the eyes. now having my own grief to care for aswell as hers it’s become too much and i’ve been left frustrated and angry that my feelings have just been shoved to the back of the drawer and she doesn’t feel up to supporting me when my head is up my backside but i’m just about coping. i’m out of words to try and help because I just feel completely drained and on the verge of a massive anger outburst because it’s almost like she doesn’t want to have hope or even try to start to make things get better. all I want to do is be able to see a glimmer of light in her eyes and to be able to start to move forward but am just at a brick wall. I have been 100% there for her throughout all this because not only has she been dealing with the physical but the mental too. I feel like I need my own space but I also feel like she needs me there for her as loneliness will only make things worse and don’t want to be self centred by thinking about what I want. Has anyone got any advice on how they got through a similar situation with someone who completely shuts off? I can’t sit there and be absolutely silent in bed for much longer, I‘m going out of my head.
It's very very fresh and raw to her. Please do not get angry and lash out.
She doesn't know how to handle this situation and is likely trying to piece everything together in her head. You being there for her, whether she expresses it to you now or not, is the most important action you can take at this time.
Have you tried to speak to her about how you are feeling?