My fiancé and I were pleasantly surprised to find that she (we) were pregnant, immediately I went into dad mode researching everything I can to be the best dad I could be. my fiancés an ultrasound technician, was so excited to scan and see our baby ASAP, only to find a gestational sac with nothing else. We held onto the hope that our dates were wrong, but countless scans showed otherwise. Inmediately I was saddened by this and I began to cope with it. However I find myself now ~2 months later feeling guilty about grieving, but to me I lost a child, and am stuck with all the what if’s. Its a weird feeling that I woukd never wish on anyone. I’m not really one to post things like this or talk about feelings or anything but I found myself at 1 am unable to sleep searching the internet for answers and I came across this website and blog and figured maybe writing it out and briefly talking about it will validate how I’m feeling ?
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Hi DB, First of all, condolences to you and your fiancé for your loss. It sounds to me that what you are going through is unfortunately a normal experience for some people going through this experience. When I went through it, I very much wanted to find out why it happened and what I could do to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. Hopefully, in reading the forum posts on this site, you will see you aren’t alone in this experience and I think it’s good you also posted about how you are feeling. This can help with the grieving process in some cases. You mention you feel guilty about grieving. Why is this? You have every right to grieve and the process has very different timescales for people. Are you talking to your fiancé about how you are feeling? She may be feeling the same. If you feel comfortable doing so, I would recommend it. Just to give you a little more reading, I wrote a blog about the website, my experience and coping mechanisms for future pregnancies but this also relates to getting through this experience. You may find it helpful https://thedaddysleepconsultant.com/baby-loss-week-2021-in-collaboration-with-miscarriage-for-men/ If you need any further help, please let us know what we can do for you. Dan - MFM