Firstly, it's incredible to find a place for men to release their thoughts and experiences around miscarriages.
Following our fourth and arguably most traumatic (if that's not too strong a word) miscarriage in January 2021, I have found myself struggling with another wave of grief, despite having moved on and accepted our experience for over a year.
Like many who feel they need to be a pillar of strength for their partners, I'd imagine this is a common enough delayed reaction. But it leaves you in a place whereby it is difficult to set time aside to re-process the loss or have others understand why you're bringing it up after so much time has passed.
I'm curious how others can relate to this and what you did when faced with the feeling of "I can't take off work now; it happened so long ago".
Hi Rtblack2701, First of all, apologies for the delay in reply and for the loss you went through in 2021 and are going through now. As most are aware, there isn’t a timeframe on grief, and having gone through multiple miscarriages it is possible you haven’t dealt with the others as well. We are working for employers to see miscarriage as a reason for time off in the weeks it happens but it is absolutely worth considering questioning policy on a more long term basis. I am not sure where you are based, but potentially your countries healthcare policy may allow you to visit a doctor and obtain some mental health support from a councillor. This could be a regular appointment you could use to dedicate time to dealing with the grief you are feeling, and I would hope your employer would be understanding of this. Alternatively there are evening sessions in some places or on video conference where you can talk to like minded people which we can help you locate. Please let us know if you need any help in this area? Dan - MFM