My wife and I had our miscarriage in March. It was awful, tragic, depressing, etc., as you all know. We have gotten through it by sticking together and making each other laugh. We also have lots of mementos and symbols to remind us of our lost little boy. My wife got a memorial ring that she wears every day. I am about to get a tattoo memorializing our Charlie that we lost. The nurses at our hospital made us an amazing keepsake box that we are so appreciative to have. So we are taking steps to heal and remember what could have been.
However, this Friday, (8/13/2021) was our due date. We both took the day off to be with each other. The problem is, I have no idea what activities or things to do with my wife on that day. I’m at a loss. I don’t want to take her to a memorial for miscarried pregnancies, or a support group meeting, etc. I think that would be too painful for her. And she hates being the center of attention.
The only thing I can think of is spending time together and maybe going for a walk in our favorite part of the city. We like to walk together pretty much every day. I don’t necessarily want to do activities specifically about our loss, but I can’t ignore it either. I know she wants me to think of something to do but I am totally at a loss. Do you guys have any ideas on what we could do? I’m open to any suggestions. I really feel like a failure here and I don’t want to disappoint her. I’d appreciate any help. I have also reached out to my family members who have experienced miscarriages and some of my wife’s friends. Im waiting to hear back from them still.
thanks for any help, guys.
Good morning Aramion, Firstly, let me say how sorry I am to hear that you and your wife went through a miscarriage back in March. Your dates were similar to me and my wife, as this month would have been our due date also. It’s tough, especially as the occasion draws closer. I think what you are planning to do sounds great. A nice walk, a lunch somewhere nice, some drinks. All sounds lovely. It will also give you the chance to talk, and reminisce. What about laying some flowers in a park or a special place that you both love? Something a bit sentimental to you both, but rather than going ‘all out’ and attending sessions etc. Whilst Friday will be difficult, I think the courage you are both showing is admirable, and the fact you are both wanting to do something in memory of Charlie is beautiful. I wish you all the strength and courage possible for Friday. Thanks for reaching out to us, you know where we are if you ever need a chat. Chris.